WOW! I can't believe it has been an entire year since I have written in my blog here on Artifolio!

A year is a long time away I think, too long in fact but changes in life has torn me away from my usual haunts on the internet and this unfortunately was one of those casualities! Well, here I am a year later and have much to report and blog about...

Last post was about us preparing to move into our home, and this December will mark our first year back after the fire. When we moved home last year I remember vividly the feelings that ran through me when my hand turned the key-and I remember a Reba commerical about the most precious of metals was that which a key to a home was made out of and I thought at the time that was a silly comment. No more do I think that-and nor do I ever take for granted the idea of owning or having a place as precious as home.

2009 was a year filled with pow-wows as it was my first solid venture into the show arena again and re-focused my energies into committing myself to the native ways and events as well. It paid off, not only did I sell many paintings this summer-but I also found myself at home with like minded people and an event culture that was truly unique as that of which it represents. It was hard work, doing pow-wows and definately not for the weak or faint of heart! Many times my pony hit the road at 2 or 3 in the morning, arriving to the event and set up - many times under rain and cloud filled skies, and in the tradition of a nomadic people we would set up our "modern day tepees" aka tents where we would crash at night and barely remember falling asleep.

There were times our tents leaked and we woke with wet blankets or pillows, and bathing consisted of a gallon of water, soap and your naked ass in the woods! Your hair looked like crap unless you wore it long (which I decided to let mine grow out again) and your clothes better be the kind that resists wrinkles. Your precious regalia was always kept in the car safe and sound waiting for you to once again wear it with the hopes of not getting it dirty. And OHHHHH the heavenly smells of fry bread...and knowing lunch was just a few hours away,...mmmmmmm!

This year was also the year I finally went to the reservation to meet the families I have only known through phone calls and I was able to participate in ceremonies as well which was incredible and not to mention life changing. My dream is to return there, but as a resident and live my life in the vastness of silence and beauty that can only be explained as intensely spiritual. When that will happen only Creator knows, but in my heart of hearts I know I am going to go there someday and never return, and I pray that when I am old and near death I am carried out near a butte and lay down on the sage and sweetgrass with my eyes open and looking a the sky, and pass into my Creator's embrace as I should-old, happy and finally at home.

It is strange in many ways, because the Lakota ways are not my ways-nor is the tribal blood that runs so strongly in that land-but it has been the closest to home I have ever been able to get to as Cuba is too far and impossible to return to. If I had a choice and could- I would run to the mountains of my Cuba and live with my relatives who still follow the Taino ways, because there is a beauty there unlike any other of deep canopies of green, water as clear and cold as the mountains of which they flow and the kiss of the sea in the air. Ahhhhhh. who knows right?

Also this year in changes I grew into a new site called The Artful Taina, setting aside the Taino Artistry as I wanted to embrace my female native heart. So the website has been officially launched at www.theartultaina.net and new art is being worked on as the winter months approach my bear den. 

So there you are-caught up. LOL! Wonder what 2010 will hold?       

Well- summer has come and passed and it has been so far an incredible year of changes and fluxs in both my art life and personal one. Our home is still being worked on and we pray that we will be home for the holiday season (brings a WHOLE new meaning to home for the holidays!) and I have been making preparations for moving back as best as I can.

My paintings are all in storage except one which hangs over my air mattress (we been through 3 of these already!) and I even put all the blank canvases away with the paints as we all wait patiently for our new home to be finished.

In the meantime the ideas of new work flow and I already have thought of a new piece which will be a series of the Four Directions in Taino traditions and I am exploring the idea of more animal "comedy" peices as well. I am also a bit aprehensive since I also discovered that my work has been as of late reflecting that part of me I keep hidden-and I never see it until someone points it out. I pray that I will be able to keep that away from the work-but know that when I paint it is about exposing yourself and have to come to terms with that.

So with that I say to you all happy fall as Thanksgiving is only 3 weeks away and I hope to write you from my new re-built home soon.

Well,

Since I last wrote I shared with all that I am without home, and as of today it is still the same. Our condo is in limbo hell and although I have settled into a comfortable routine at my friend's home it is still not my own place. I wish I had my lavender bedroom back, but I suppose all in time.

I did not pick up a brush and put it to canvas until July, and it was comforting in many aspects because I knew that familar feeling of creating was creeping in on me again. It was a painting that was TOTALLY different from anything I have ever done, but somewhat more thought provoking too. Either way I loved it, and hope to show them at next year's show(s).

In other good news my daughter has BLOSSOMED in our current situation and has been creating some AMAZING artwork-so good in fact that I am currently working on a site for both of us called the Artful Taina.

 So-that's pretty much what's going on- over all I have done about 20 art pieces in various forms (wood boxes primarily) for my friend to sell on Ebay, and I had a commissioned piece sent to Hawaii for the Turtle Conservation office where it now hangs next to my daughter's. I am already feeling the tickle of fall and even if winter is going to be spent at my friend's home for now-I have come to the acceptance that I can paint there and the work is still good!

J-

Whoever said lightening can't strike 2xs was either dumb or nuts.

On Sat. May 4th our condo unit as well as 8 others were in flames, and this is the 2nd time for us, although this time the devistation is much more worse than the first. Right now my family is not only fractured as we have two of the older kids living with friends-but we have no home. On the plus side-well eventually we will get a new place to live.

Its funny- you know you never think things like this happen to you, I mean you live a good life, hurt no one and work hard but it does happen. I of course don't blame God or say "why me?" because it was an honest accident from one of our nieghbors, but even so you find out during these times how lucky you are to have your friends. My friends are fantastic, they took me in with my pets (5 birds and 1 dog) and have given me a roof and warm place to sleep which to I am forever grateful to them, my dad who is 90 yrs old and lives in FL even helped us out when I know he really can't afford to-so I say to you all we are truly blessed no matter how it happened.

Anyways- one of the FIRST things I grabbed out (besides the pets of course!) were my paintings, I didn't want to lose a single one and was really worried that I wouldn't be able to get them. I was of course able to and they are currently residing in my temporary residence, but I ended up giving several to my friend as a HUGE thank you-and I don't regret one of them going to her. Not ONE single bit!

Where does this go with my painting? I don't honestly know. What I do know is that my show schedule is bagged, and that I have really no where to paint comfortably for now but I can see that my next few works are going to be sprinkled with Coyote humor and a reasonable amount of humility as well. I have learned in my soon to be 40 years to embrace the changes that are brought to our lives with full gusto and no regrets, and can honestly tell you all that this time it is really hard but I know that the Creator has nothing but love and the best intentions for us and even though it is hard right now The Great Spirit is always right in what is put on our paths.

Thanks for listening (or reading) and artist's ramblings too.

Jeanne

Well, it is April and where is the spring? It has been cold still (in the 40's which to me is cold) and I want to be warm already! Well, on the plus side it has allowed me to continue on my painting...

This year so far has been an artistic blast for me as I have well over 20 new art pieces and already have had requests for purchases. I don't know if anyone else feels this way, but I really dislike selling my originals. It sounds silly-I mean we paint with the idea to hopefully sell one, the sale boosts our egos and help buy more canvases (not to mention support the family) but when you are asked to sell it...doesn't it feel like your selling one of your kids?

Ok, well maybe selling a kid is too far of a concept, but I do feel anguish and a sense of loss when they go, a release of something I created into the cold world never to be seen by me again. Yeah-it is like giving your kids up. I know that there are some that I will not mind to sell, others that will break my heart and then those who I would take to the grave with me if I could. Melodramatic? Maybe, but I can't be the only one.

I remember a time in November of 2007 when I went to NYC to do a show at HBO, the sales where terrible but I had been contacted by one of my regular patrons who wanted to buy 2 of my pieces and was willing to meet me after the event. It was the crunch time-the holidays were knocking and we were looking for extra cash-so of  course i I said yes. He wanted to see two of my originals-both which I was ok with letting go, one was in a gallery and the other one traveled with me for years with never a nibble. Either way I was ok with it, until he mentioned one other one..

Now your probably thinking "wow lucky you!" but I was now feeling that ever familar pit and dread in my gut, I though maybe if I just priced it right....he would say no. But of course my evil plan to do this was just a thought-my mouth was saying what it should anyways regardless of what my heart was screaming. So I packed the van and with my husband by my side headed to NY for the show and meeting.

After the event we met my patron at the designated area, and again I felt that dread swirl in my belly-but there was  hope after all he only wanted 2 out of the three. I took one out, and YES he wanted that one (the one which I held onto for years) and then I took the other one he looked and quickly said no (yep-it wasn't the one I wanted to keep) and as I felt my body betraying my heart I took the 3rd one out...to which he said yes.

I took the money, he took the paintings-it was over quickly within 5 minutes-but it felt wrong. Now I know they have a good home, and I have pictures of them to which I look at as well as sell prints off of-but the originals are gone. I needed the money, and was grateful that I sold two paintings-we even had dinner to celebrate the sale but honestly my heart was not in it.

Looking back now I can say that those feelings were still no less than when it happened, and maybe it is a silly thing to feel such attachments to your work but I it reminds me of a movie I saw a while back about an artist who sold off his art to just eat, and I remember his struggle of letting go of them...and I can say now I know what it feels like.

J- 

Call me crazy, but as I hear the ticking clock of time slowly edge upon me that feeling of sadness in winter's passing is edging oh so close now- my respite from my job for the past 3 months (going on 4) is coming to an end as I prepare for a new class in April giving me no time to paint. I should consider myself fortunate as most people do not have the ability to take such time off from work to dedicate themselves to painting-and don't get me wrong I make an ok living off of my hourly job but also live very under means so it is a double edged sword of sorts.

My newest work includes an aztec theme which I am ok with, I feel eh about it to be honest as I feel it could have been better. I also did  a body part focus which I had a blast painting (no it is not THAT kind of body part either!) I also really messed up a painting big time on Sat-took Sunday to fix it. How did I fix it? I painted completely over it! Heck- canvas is not cheap (especially when you are under a strict income) so to throw it away would be a HUGE no-no! I ended up light years away from what I originally wanted to paint-but the result was really well worth the goof up and also a lot of fun to play with. I find those oops are usually a good experience for me as it gives me ideas on maybe something I thought of a while ago but "just never got around to it."

I will have the new work posted up soon-have to take the pics...ahhhhh it just never ends does it?

3/7/08

Spring...wow I can't believe it is almost here! Although I am looking forward to warmer weather (really I am!) it is also a time of panic for me as the show season is coming and gallery deadlines are knocking on my door. This year I have two galleries in my sight-one in CA and the other in NY to which I hope to get accepted in and currently working on new work to show at the events.

My daughter tells me I am being over zealous- she sees me paint on average 6 new paintings a week which if I was to look at it I would have to agree with her but I am working to get that one special painting finished that I can stand back and say "it is finished". I have been working on all sizes of canvases, all sorts of ideas and have had 2 "stinkers" which I have to admit stink because I was watching my favorite t.v show as I painted -something I don't recommend for me anyway because I get envolved into 2 things which I can't really focus on. Damn that Nip/Tuck show ...

I returned to finish the series of Taino Cemis which I really enjoy to paint and currently have 12 finished with another 4 drawn out and ready to be put to paint as well. They are specifically an event I am slotted for this year in the Galleria of the Underground Cemi in NY which I feel will be a good venue for me, and whispers of Turner Broadcasting private invitation this spring has me working on a huge painting concept to be worked on. HBO will again be in November-but I really am pushing for the Turner building.

As the winter begins to slip my brush will also be put down...and the season of prints, shows and promoting finished work will be in high gear. I just pray that it is a profitable season as well!

Happy Spring Everyone!

2/28/08 Winter...

Well, I finally gave in and decided to make my first blog page. Although I can't see myself being a heavy blogger (after all I do have to paint!) I thought this would be a good way to share with the art internet peeps what I am doing, where I hope to go, and what my art is heading. 

I normally dislike the winter months-I hate cold weather in general but to be honest it is the only time I take for painting. I have two advantages actually- first my job allows me free time in the winter months as I end up only working 3 nights a week (at least until mid March early April) and since I don't like going out anyways well-it is a match made in heaven.

The winter is also the time when I start to decide what shows I am doing, re-designing my booth, working on stock for the summer and marketing myself as well. The shows I have picked this year are what I think good venues, and I have decided to do more pow-wow events as well. My art is mainly native themed and I thought it would be a good way to expose myself as more of a contemporary native painter.

My art is not traditional by most standards, I use colors that can be hard on the eyes (but oh so FUN!) and I do enjoy painting women in little to no clothing which is viewed as a HUGE no-no by native people. I suppose I take that liberty due to the fact that my own people ran around basically naked and we saw it as a natural way of being. I have the upmost respect for Native American tribes and have taken part in many of their ceremonies, so I make it a point to cover up some of my ladies when I get inspired by them.

Back to winter...

Much to my husband's dismay I decided this year to go against his advice and do more acrylic paintings, putting aside the watercolors for a while. It isn't that I don'e enjoy watercolors-I really do, but I just enjoy acrylic so much more! I find myself lost in the colors, the challenges of laying down the paint, and marvel at the outcome whether it was good or not. I enjoy the texture of paint and the patterns in the paint that the brush gives and I can tell you that it is easy for me to forget food, time etc when I am painting. The food part can be dangerous as I am diabetic (currently working on reversing this bad habit!) but it happens every time I take a brush into my hands.

This year what I hope to achieve is: a spot in Native Magazine as an upcoming artist, a few gallery shows (already have one prospective show in Ca), and to make more of a living off my art. My biggest dream is to paint all the time and call it work, not that I have a terrible job-most people would kill to do what I do professionally and I consider myself extremely blessed to have such an awesome job, but my passion is really my art. I think about it all the time, think about paintings, colors, compositions, even driving into work I look for ideas!

So that is my winter's story-one of laying down low but building huge dreams for the future. When the summer comes all I will be thinking is Coronas, beach, sun and picnics by the ocean-after all who as time to paint? .