Well, it is April and where is the spring? It has been cold still (in the 40's which to me is cold) and I want to be warm already! Well, on the plus side it has allowed me to continue on my painting...
This year so far has been an artistic blast for me as I have well over 20 new art pieces and already have had requests for purchases. I don't know if anyone else feels this way, but I really dislike selling my originals. It sounds silly-I mean we paint with the idea to hopefully sell one, the sale boosts our egos and help buy more canvases (not to mention support the family) but when you are asked to sell it...doesn't it feel like your selling one of your kids?
Ok, well maybe selling a kid is too far of a concept, but I do feel anguish and a sense of loss when they go, a release of something I created into the cold world never to be seen by me again. Yeah-it is like giving your kids up. I know that there are some that I will not mind to sell, others that will break my heart and then those who I would take to the grave with me if I could. Melodramatic? Maybe, but I can't be the only one.
I remember a time in November of 2007 when I went to NYC to do a show at HBO, the sales where terrible but I had been contacted by one of my regular patrons who wanted to buy 2 of my pieces and was willing to meet me after the event. It was the crunch time-the holidays were knocking and we were looking for extra cash-so of course i I said yes. He wanted to see two of my originals-both which I was ok with letting go, one was in a gallery and the other one traveled with me for years with never a nibble. Either way I was ok with it, until he mentioned one other one..
Now your probably thinking "wow lucky you!" but I was now feeling that ever familar pit and dread in my gut, I though maybe if I just priced it right....he would say no. But of course my evil plan to do this was just a thought-my mouth was saying what it should anyways regardless of what my heart was screaming. So I packed the van and with my husband by my side headed to NY for the show and meeting.
After the event we met my patron at the designated area, and again I felt that dread swirl in my belly-but there was hope after all he only wanted 2 out of the three. I took one out, and YES he wanted that one (the one which I held onto for years) and then I took the other one he looked and quickly said no (yep-it wasn't the one I wanted to keep) and as I felt my body betraying my heart I took the 3rd one out...to which he said yes.
I took the money, he took the paintings-it was over quickly within 5 minutes-but it felt wrong. Now I know they have a good home, and I have pictures of them to which I look at as well as sell prints off of-but the originals are gone. I needed the money, and was grateful that I sold two paintings-we even had dinner to celebrate the sale but honestly my heart was not in it.
Looking back now I can say that those feelings were still no less than when it happened, and maybe it is a silly thing to feel such attachments to your work but I it reminds me of a movie I saw a while back about an artist who sold off his art to just eat, and I remember his struggle of letting go of them...and I can say now I know what it feels like.
J-
