An interesting series of events took place this afternoon as I was on my way to the radioshack.

I was just walking, minding my own business, when all of the sudden, a gust of wind flew on top of me. Like a stealthy mugger, it ran up from behind me and clobbered me in the face as I turned around. Instantly, the cold plunged it'self into my nose where I sucked up the most intense frozen air I had felt in a long time.

Having a metal nose ring however, did not make things any better. Instantly, the metal froze and every breath I inhaled came in that much colder. With every air molecule clogged into the metal, I started to feel the frozen flowing out blood.

"Damn it!" Nose tilted, feeling like a beaten up coke head, I quickly try to cover my nostrils with the scarf. Doesn't help.

Suddenly! I found myself running blocks home, scurrying out from the wind. It was chasing, full on. I could tell it was right behind me (mainly because of it's breathing down my neck) and not knowing what to do next, I spun into an alley in hopes it wouldn't find me.

No such luck.

"Now you listen here," I begean my speach. "I will not tolerate bloody noses from your obscene behavior. You either shape up, or ship out."

Well, I must have scared the wind pretty hard because it stopped to huddle around my feet .Tossing garbage around in a circle, I realized it was starting a tunnel.

Oh no. Could I have provoked a tornado? I thought to myself, but no... it was too small to be a tornado. Besides, I was in philly, not ohio.

Sure enough, the paper plates and empty cigarette packs started to lift themselves wildly around in a circle. Like dancing african drumming circles they were picking up speed with mass energy. Uh oh, I thought. Looking around frantically for anyone to witness the extrodinary event.

I wasn't even thinking about my bloody nose when the tunnel began. It was as if I was too stunned to run. Turning on it's side, the tunnel blasted me with a voice too low to be heard, but too loud to be unnoticed.

"I am wind. Hear me roar!"

It shouted with such a vengence, I thought it would suck me up.

The tunnel spiraled dark and grey with a gaping mouth unlike my bloody one that was open for a different reason.

It was then that I bolted like an electrical shock and sprinted out from the ground. Like my legs were out from underneath, I started to fly down Lombard Ave. I didn't even look back at that ****er, I just bolted straight into the building and locked my studio door behind me. Jumping to the window, I peered out... but like a flash, it was gone.

If I can give you one bit of advice from this fiasco today is, don't wear metal nose rings when battling the wind mugger.